im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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