Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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