I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm too high and old for this...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
