dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
