so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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