Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
