hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
