dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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