Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
do nipples grow back?
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