hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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