just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
