I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize