we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
