I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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