she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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