I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
