I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FUCK WHALES
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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