Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
