she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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