'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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