Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
