My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
