I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
