turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
