If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i now understand why vodka
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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