do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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