they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize