You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
