can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
handjob tips. give me some.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
