You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
