Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
