I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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