Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
