Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
