Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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