Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize