she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
