You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
