As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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