Buhtt sex?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
