A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
