mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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