Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
