i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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