I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
