birth control should be required to get into college
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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