This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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