Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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