oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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