Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
