thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
