My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
