I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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