I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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