Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You were trust falling into bushes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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