She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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