question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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