I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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