I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
