I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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