okay pat passed out under dana's car
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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